"P" for Phone

Ahh, my beautiful new phone... I love its sleek black design and built-in antenna. It is a multimedia powerhouse, with Sprint TV, mp3 capabilities with a memory card to store my music, a megapixel camera/camcorder with digital zoom...

At least it was pretty cool until I dropped it in the toilet... that I was just flushing... YUCK!!!!

It was all slow-motion, the phone slipping out of my sweatshirt pocket... my hand grabbing for it, hoping against hope to grab it before it hit the swirling pool of pee, slooshing down the drain... me not catching it and hearing the "sploop" sound as it shot right down into the nether pipe.

Yes, I got it out (after a minute of trying to dislodge it from the pipe with my bare hand).
Yes, I wiped it off with an antibacterial handi-wipe.
Yes, I washed my hands five times with a handful of antibacterial soap.
Yes, I opened it up and took off the battery.
Yes, I tried to dry it with a hairdryer.
Yes, I waited a day or two to try to turn it on again.

No, I CAN'T hear you now, stupid phone guy!